Dreams Unawares

Dreams Unawares..
Dont aske me why I love to type in blue.. One of my many favorite colors.. Well July went fast but I forgot to post a dream of my dad I had.. Its been 9yrs since he's been gone as well as my mom.. I miss them for many reasons and espically now in this time of my life I miss them, and for them to see my son who is growing and exploring life alot more each passing day.. Well the dream.. It started out ok, and then I am in a hospital now mind you my dad was never in a hospital setting, my mom was in and out many times, dad never unless it was for surgery.. I totally forgot the anniversary date of his death which is July 19th.. He went on a Sunday morning and I went to church but couldnt focus on the service much less than any other time of my life.. Anyway, I dreampt that I was driving along the road, we called the road Hwy 41 wich is it,but in my dream the road is before it turned into a fwy.. Then I am going ok, so we're driving at night, and then suddenly I am at mom/dad's house looking and trying to figure out what to do next, and then suddenly back on the road going back to the hospital but we're driving at night not in the day time.. Its very confusing since dad died in the AM not PM and then suddenly we're back at the house again strickten with emotions that are confusing and not sure what was going on.. I think all of us were confused and trying to go about what to do next.. The dream didnt leave me depressed, but it definatly felt like some thing was real.. I had gone a whole month for the 1st time and not remember my dad's anniverary death.. I guess I felt bad about not remembering? I dont know. All I do know is that life is amazing if you know deep down your loved ones are with you, but they remind you in some sort of fashion... There's a 2nd dream I had recently, I dreampt of my nephew Matthew, now mind you he's a grown handsome young man, and has a man in his life.. Now you might think its is weird but it left me confused and unsure of it.. I dreampt that I was where he was living or some thing, he was sleeping naked now I havent seen him naked ok, and I said Matt cover up, and he did.. Later, I guessed I asked him to spend some time with me and he said no.. I ran out in my dream out of his house or place of residence, crying uncontrollably and I felt that so real in the dream also.. Now mind you I dream in color and alot of times its real.. I am so confused on the dreams lately.. I am not sure if my innerself is trying to tell me some thing or want to feel some thing I dont know.. Last night, or this moring, we watched a dvd video of my parents Christmas of "91" I was 15 back then and it was my sister, her 2 children Matt and Aric, me and mom/dad.. My brother was there also.. I think I dreampt of my brother but it wasnt bad or sexual dreams of him doing things to me, it was different, I cant recall much of the dream now,but at least I didnt feel violated and used in the dream as I would have normally had.. Like I said, I dont understand things like this and its very time consuming to think about them, espically since I am 32yrs old married and has 1 child so far.. Life isnt perfect by any means,but its real and yes I will admit I havent gotten over the stuff from my childhood espically since upon hearing some new informotion in the recent few months past.. That part makes sense, but the dreams and my emotions in the dreams is whats bothers me.. maybe some light will come of it? I hope so or fine some peace.. Well thats all here.. Things this week has been stressful and I have been knocked out by headaches, stomache problems, the works.. I want this week over with and me to feel better, I am sick and tired of dealing with life problems .. I dont expect life to be perfect but I do want things to be calming and whole again if that makes any sense.. Well, I am off to see what I can do with myself..