Internet Frustrations/Busy Day..

Well, ok lets try this again! My internet has gone crazy and it wouldnt let me post my previous blog entry and hence, do it over again! AHH! Well lets see tell you about my week.. Well so far its been busy and having to re-boot my PC at least 1x a day to keep it from going haywire and acting all sluggish.. Its been so hot here around 100's and today was 106 outside, whew! I swear its been very very hot..

I woke up this morning after being so tired last night from doing 3 loads of laundry well it would have been 4 if I didnt have to do the last load today in this heat.. Well to say the least, I was so tired my eyes have been burning and I'm so like my allergies are bad and just wore me out to top it all off the heaet does it to. I need a cooler climate that is for sure.. I would love to live like in a rainy state such as Oregon or Washington St.. I pray one day we can.. Anyway back to my day, I know not very exciting and probably very boring to some of my readers:) So then as I am trying to accomplish a million and one things such as dishes, laundry and my sweet Dh works 7 days this week, not by choice mind you..Its how it landed.. I hate the fact that he has to work till Monday and that so far is the only day off he has for God knows how long.. He ( DH) thinks he'll have to work 6-7 days in the next month.. I am NOT very happy but hey at least our bills get paid and no hope (Crosses fingers) more over draft fees from the bank.. This summer has been nice but majorly warm and often hot as it has been on/off.. No wonder people are struggling health wise to stay cool and drink plenty of fluids..

So today I showered around 2pm, and dressed, cleaned my bathroom at least started it, looks a little better I might add.. I did dishes , as I said before that I did one load of laundry and washed my DS's stuffed dog he has..Needed a washing and our bedding stuff needs to be refreshed and washed.. I swear lately thats all I've been doing.. I played my PS 3 on Saturday and had a blast, I look forward to the weekend to play it again all day long hehe :) Then I went to the new gas station here in town, and it has a car wash but its going to charge alot of money to get it washed since it just opened recently.. So gotta wait on that .. Next weekend not this weekend due to Labor day and all of the travelors, my sweet DS will go and spend a weekend at Grandmas to give mommy and daddy a chance to de-bug this place and clean it up (Which will take a bulk of a day) to do.. but it needs to be done, there are bugs every where and its getting old.. I pray we acn do this..I want to go out of town while we set a bomb off.. I would love that for sure and maybe see the Harry Potter movie!? I hope so, I am so desprate to see it now that I've read the book.. I am also reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and so far its a very good book.. I'm getting into the heart of the book now to.. Man at least me it keeps me on the edge of my bed.. OK now where was I? Oh yes, telling about my day.. Anyway I left around 3ish pm and after I got gas for my car and then went to a store here called Rite Aid and picked up soda and some hair conditioner for myself I had a good time:) Then came home and started to finish cleaning the house again, such as vacumm and do the rest of the dishes and feed DS and now he's back in bed he woke up from being to wet and a poopy diaper and so he's watching Happy Feet till I turn it off and he'll go to sleep again, his whole sleep schedule is off big time.. I feel bad for him cuz he's so cranky and just gets so flustered easily..

Well thats been my week.. Just need to relax and enjoy the rest of it if I can.. Hope y'all are having a better week..

Love & Light
Laura

Board out of my Mind!

Well, what a day.. I've done nothing but sit around and wait for my g/f to come by or to text me to say we're gonna have lunch. Does that happen NO! I text her 2x and waited all day to hear from her and stiill no text message and its 9pm.. To late to do much now.. I am not sure if she was going to go back home or up for the day here or what.. So now I'm clueless.. I am sick and tired of her saying she promised me that she'd see me and dont.. This is the 3rd or 4th time she's done this since she moved.. I dont like to hang around not knowing whats going on in life.. I am tired and I got dishes to do and I want to finsih my book and order more, and then I got 3 more books in the mail that look good but I want more Harry Potter books.. So I might order more as I go along and want some for Christmas.. Which is in a few months from now, eek!

I dont know I need more friends,but I'm scared to death to open up to any more real life freinds and not be judged for what I do.. I am sick of not having friends and sick of being bored out of my mind.. I know in a few years that'll change and things will get better, but thats still not right now, I need it now,not then.. I know God knows I need people who arent going to leave me out of the loop and use me when they feel like it.. I need some one who's a true Christian and will abide what they say and do what they say.. Its just frustrating about it.. O well I guess thats my life right now.. DH and I are going around in circles in life and its getting real annoying and he's been a pain in my ass for 6yrs and I doubt he'll change unless God hits him in the head w/a 2x4 board.. I feel I am barking up a tree and blue in the face.. Its getting old thats for sure.. Anyway just needed to vent.. Now I can go read.. :)

Love & Light
Laura

Getting Along Somewhat...

Well its been a few days since I've written.. Things are making due as you can see from my tital of the blog.. Lately all I've done is clean.. I took out garbage, and cleaned kitchen and floors, vacummed and still have some ways to go.. I've also been reading my book Harry Potter and enjoying it emensely! I cant get enough and definatly cant wait for the movie to come out so I can see it after reading the book.. I have to say; reading the book has definatly made more sense than the movies do.. So I am going to order the other books, I need to sit and read the other book I have on Harry Potter and thats the Goblet of Fire, my all time so far favorite movie of the series.. I hope to enjoy this movie as well when it comes out, I so wanted to see it in the theater but we've had no money or time to go:( Which is sad cuz I havent been to the movies since I think my anniversary.. Things are tough, I'll have to really write and elaborate on that, but just keep us in prayer.. Dh had to work this past week 6 days and 6days this week again.. I am not happy..

I went to Target today and got some things we needed and I might have to run to the dollar tree or some place and pick up some juice for son.. Who btw hasnt slept very well the past 2 nights.. He crashed 2x for naps today and I was relieved that he did.. So he's in bed for the night, hope he'll sleep better and feel better tomorrow..He's having a rough time and he'll be turning 2 soon in October..I know some ask are we going to have more kids,yes we're TTCing now as it is.. Just taking our time at it.. Which is fine by me really I do miss being pregnant but I loath the fact that I may have to do another C-section and revoery wont be so happy plus I dont know what the weather will be like when the due time is by the 2nd child so that all comes into play also.. J might be 3yrs or close by the time his sibling is born.. So I dont mind though.. I am ok with them being 3 to 3.5yrs apart that'll make it easier in the end and in High school in 13 yrs..

Well, just thought I'd drop a line and say Hi ! and hope y'all are well.. God bless and God speed.

Love & Light
Laura

Long Day

Well today was long but not bad.. Yesterday was ok to, we went to Oakhurst to visit MIL (Mom in law) and went to the park. We were there for awhile and it was very warm outside, I dont do well in warm/hot weather and it was extreemly hard for me.. I used to love being outside but not that time.. Although son loved it,he had a blast, swang on the swings, went down slides things like that, played socer walked around he had a blast.. Then we were going to have to stop at Grandmas and take a bath he was dirty, so we bathed him, I put him in sweats and a Tshirt for the way home.. We left round sun-set to make it home.. Before we came home though, we looked at some Apts and had a nice time thinking of what one we'd move into and see if they are nice enough to move into.. I know moving to Oakhurst has its reservations for me,but it would be closer to Grandma and I can find a job even PT job to help with expeses and not have to drive an hour home would be nice..

Today was nice I went to rent some movies, I hate a quick bite of lunch, got a coffee drink, went and got popcorn for DH (Hub) and then that was it, I watched the Pre-game on SF (49ers) against Dever (Broncos) of course Denver won,but SF didnt do bad, they kept up but were fumbly at the 2nd half.. I think if they got their shit together,they might have won.. So we'll see about the seaon soon to start.. I for one cant wait! I didnt feel good today, my back was killing me and it was hard and my chest got very tight and just plain hard.. I took some tylenol and laid down for a few mins to rest, and I feel better, so we'll see.. DH is in our room watching a movie and DS I hope is sleeping, he needs more rest after Sunday all day in the sun.. So hope the rest of my week goes well, I am tired and want to sleep some.. So we'll see how things play out.. Other than that not much going on.Just chilling supposed to be hot this weekend.. My Cd's finally came in the mail, so I am now waiting on a book to get here and then I am done ordering things for awhile.. We'll see.. What else? I think thats it for now.. If more I'll add to this or post a new entry.. Much love

Love & Light
Laura

Dreams Unawares

Dreams Unawares..
Dont aske me why I love to type in blue.. One of my many favorite colors.. Well July went fast but I forgot to post a dream of my dad I had.. Its been 9yrs since he's been gone as well as my mom.. I miss them for many reasons and espically now in this time of my life I miss them, and for them to see my son who is growing and exploring life alot more each passing day.. Well the dream.. It started out ok, and then I am in a hospital now mind you my dad was never in a hospital setting, my mom was in and out many times, dad never unless it was for surgery.. I totally forgot the anniversary date of his death which is July 19th.. He went on a Sunday morning and I went to church but couldnt focus on the service much less than any other time of my life.. Anyway, I dreampt that I was driving along the road, we called the road Hwy 41 wich is it,but in my dream the road is before it turned into a fwy.. Then I am going ok, so we're driving at night, and then suddenly I am at mom/dad's house looking and trying to figure out what to do next, and then suddenly back on the road going back to the hospital but we're driving at night not in the day time.. Its very confusing since dad died in the AM not PM and then suddenly we're back at the house again strickten with emotions that are confusing and not sure what was going on.. I think all of us were confused and trying to go about what to do next.. The dream didnt leave me depressed, but it definatly felt like some thing was real.. I had gone a whole month for the 1st time and not remember my dad's anniverary death.. I guess I felt bad about not remembering? I dont know. All I do know is that life is amazing if you know deep down your loved ones are with you, but they remind you in some sort of fashion... There's a 2nd dream I had recently, I dreampt of my nephew Matthew, now mind you he's a grown handsome young man, and has a man in his life.. Now you might think its is weird but it left me confused and unsure of it.. I dreampt that I was where he was living or some thing, he was sleeping naked now I havent seen him naked ok, and I said Matt cover up, and he did.. Later, I guessed I asked him to spend some time with me and he said no.. I ran out in my dream out of his house or place of residence, crying uncontrollably and I felt that so real in the dream also.. Now mind you I dream in color and alot of times its real.. I am so confused on the dreams lately.. I am not sure if my innerself is trying to tell me some thing or want to feel some thing I dont know.. Last night, or this moring, we watched a dvd video of my parents Christmas of "91" I was 15 back then and it was my sister, her 2 children Matt and Aric, me and mom/dad.. My brother was there also.. I think I dreampt of my brother but it wasnt bad or sexual dreams of him doing things to me, it was different, I cant recall much of the dream now,but at least I didnt feel violated and used in the dream as I would have normally had.. Like I said, I dont understand things like this and its very time consuming to think about them, espically since I am 32yrs old married and has 1 child so far.. Life isnt perfect by any means,but its real and yes I will admit I havent gotten over the stuff from my childhood espically since upon hearing some new informotion in the recent few months past.. That part makes sense, but the dreams and my emotions in the dreams is whats bothers me.. maybe some light will come of it? I hope so or fine some peace.. Well thats all here.. Things this week has been stressful and I have been knocked out by headaches, stomache problems, the works.. I want this week over with and me to feel better, I am sick and tired of dealing with life problems .. I dont expect life to be perfect but I do want things to be calming and whole again if that makes any sense.. Well, I am off to see what I can do with myself..

Well, today is interesting.. I am so freaked out over money that I am going crazy.. Our rent check isnt in and our consolidation isnt in and paid for.. So those bills are going to be bounced here soon and I cant afford to I need a job so bad and I want another child but financially we cant afford another right now.. I am so upset.. We need new living arrangements and since our rent is going to hell over.. I want internet and we dont need cable but just the basic channels.. I dont get why this is happening.. Thank God my husband called me I was so upset and I dont normally worry about money but when it comes to Rent and the big bills its just hard. Even though he gets paid this Saturday I have no idea when the rent check will go through.. Today is the 7th and we paid rent on the 3rd.. So any day it'll go through and I hate to see checks and insufficent funds in our acct.. I know I may have to work full time to get us on track and financially stable but I dont know what else to do.. I have a child and he needs careing, and I may have to put him in some type of pre-school setting or some thing I dont know.. I had hoped we wouldnt have to do this but we might have to.. Life right now sucks and I cant take the fact that money is going out faster than we're bringing it in.. Hub works already so much 5days a week and milks the clock when he can.. I just need some thing and I want a house but no way we can if money is tight, I cant stand to borrow money from family and we need to find some thing to help us out a cheeper place to live some thing, I dont know. I am racking my brain and I cant find a solution to this problem.. I am the type who dont worry to much about money but this takes the cake.. I am so confused and worried that I am going out of my mind.. I wanted to be a SAHM but now I cant.. I have to be a WOHM now. what a life.. Ya right! Sheesh!

Laura

Beautiful Fall Weather !

Hola All,
Well today was going fine till this late afternoon.. DH was going nuts I guess cuz he was tired or is tired,one of the 2.. I am tired also .. My MIL came by and we visted some. She gave us $100 to spend and have a good time.. Then $50 gc (gift card) for shopping for food or what we wanted at Vons or any place we could get food.. We spent some money and went out to eat at I-HOP and then went to the mall, walked around,then got me a coffee drink YUM! Then later Jamba Juice Strawberry Wild Drink, YUM! Then we drove around some,then went shopping and came home..This mornig I got up showered, dressed, and vacummed and finished what dishes I could do .. Text Msg (Message) my gf all day long and hope to chat with her again tomorrow.. We browsed Target and I got MASH Season 11 the final one for $19 and some coffee for DH and thats it.. I got us a snack and then we enjoyed the day, it was only mid 80's today.. Praise be to GOD! Espically out of the 100 degrees we had it was NICE out toay. YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! So that was nice.. I battled a headache a little bit, but other wise I was fine, and then went to clean out my car of garbage, ugh and brought in DS cups for him to have he had like 4 or 5 in the car.. So all I need to do now is vacumme the car out, wash it and wipe it down on the dash board and such.. O goodie! We rented some movies, one called 300 and it was pretty good,and then we're watching the 2nd movie calle Goal.. About socer.. Son is in bed finally, he fought sleep, he was up b4 Daddy was for once.. That must have been around 8:00 or 8:30 this morning.. Some times he's up at the crack of dawn to.. I got up around 9:20 am and been going since took a small nap to refresh b4 dinner, we had spaghetti and garlic bread YUM! We were going to have pizza but that was a much better choice to have spaghetti.. Well, thats our day.. DH was a pain in my ass, again over money and issues again.. He was in a major mood swing last night and I had my grumpy day yesterday so today was like I said fine till late this afternoon.. O well! Such as life again.. I hope the rest of my week goes better? Well, I hope y'all are better and having fun in this hope to be soon fall! Yeah!

Love & Light
Laura

Grumpy Day..

Hola All,

Well today was a major grumpy day.. Nothing made me happy, its like I cant stand stuff.. Anyway, spent most of the afternoon bored out of my mind, and the rest of the time, we left for Grandmas place and I didnt want to go. Then, my mom in law is stoppin by tomorrow in the AM, great! NOT! So cleaning things up here again for the week. So doing laundry right now. Then the dishes are done, so now waiting on laundry to dry so I can bring it in and fold it .. Life suxs some times but oh well! Such as life.. Eh. Hope everyone's Sunday was better.. God bless..

Love & Light
Laura

Blogging

Well today was nice, despite the heat. It was over 100 outside and man it was HOT! I hate the 100 degree weather and its August 1st.. Eek! Man summer is nearly coming to a close and I am so glad that it is, cuz I love fall and winter the best because I love to wear jeans and sweats and be comfy when I am home and out.. I had to do a store run and pick up DH's prescription for his blood preasure, he "forgot" to tell me last night he was out of meds, and I am like Hun! So I called it in and picked it up a while ago, and got some stuff for my son and things.. So now just cooling off since my lady thing is here and I am cramping big time.. I forgot to return the movies, so I'll do that tonight when DH is home so I can get more midol for my lady thing.. Other than that not much happening on the home front, just trying to cool off, hoped the mail came today I am waitin on some cd's that I"ve wanted nearly a month now and so far no call on my eye glasses either.. I need to call tomorrow and see if they came in so I can pick them up.. Good Lord, I hate having to wait! Other than that just chilling.. Thought I'd post some thing.. hehe.. God bless..

Love & Light
CrownedwithGlory