Adjusting to Life..

Hola

I thought this picture would fit into how I feel and knowing Jesus is there holding me and our family in a way that only he can do.. So take heed that this picture isnt just for me but for those of you as well.:)

I want to learn basic spanish some how.. Anyway life is being adjusted very much so.. The past couple days I've had nothing but headaches and stress.. All in all things are going to calm down and keep focus on the Lord, is all we can do.. I am happy to say that my Dh worked this morning even though he's crashed right now, and was home with us this afternoon.. I went to get us some free movies (free rentals from Blockbuster) we get the movies online and you can return them for free rents.. I am so desprately trying to cut down on the dollar going out and keeping it in as much as possible.. That is taking some work.. But all in all, life is ok.. My g/f and I talked the past few hours and O I miss our coffeee nights so bad.. She and I talked about money matters and she knew that we were struggling, and so desparately needing some answers.. She and I discussed getting my wee-one ready for pre-school in the fall so this week, I will be looking into that, and I want to look into some free stuff I can with my son while trying to get pregnant with baby 2.. I know some might say well, with all the finanical stuff why try and raise another child ? Well to be honest its my way of trusting in God to pull through and to keep helping us stay afloat.. I know most dont understand that and thats ok.. No one needs to understand..

So tonight has been basically snacking and enjoying each others company.. My son went to bed pretty good tonight due to no nap today, he was to wired up to sleep.. So hope tomorrow we'll get him on a schedule again.. I am trying some thing new with his bed time routine and so far it seems to be working..

There's alot to think about and take care of around here, but all in all, I want things to be clutter free not just my home but in my mind to.. To much thinking can do some damage if you let it, by giving you headaches and stress instead of falling on our face and ask God to take it all from us and to handle it.. Which is where we are at this point in our life.. We'll be celebrating 7yrs in April together and I hope and pray we can keep it together so we wont go down a dark path in life like I havent been on a dark path since I was born.. Life should be sun-shine and love and grace from above..

For one I am grateful to have my son.. Many times I was told I couldnt have children.. Well, God prooved that to me he can do all things if we keep the faith and do our best to walk in his grace.. I have seen his grace over and over again in life, esp since I got saved.. So I just need to find that place in my life to keep being devoted to him and him alone..

I am greatful for those whom I have friends and you know who you are.. You mean alot to me and I thank God each day for that.. Y'all are blessing from above and grace and mercy each day I get to talk to you or see you.. That keeps my world going to know that God uses friends to keep us ticking and focused on what the task we need at hand each day.. To lift us up when we need it and rebuke us when we need it.. So thank you ...

Well, its 1:00 am and I am tired, I need to see if I can get Dh in the shower and bed time.. We're both tired mentally and just needed much rest.. Tomorrow is another day and I am glad for it due to Gods mercy is new each morning..

Love & Light
Laura

Deep Conversation....

Hola All..

Well, tonight DH and I discussed a very deep conversation.. Nothing bad but it can turn to bad if we allow that to happen.. Dh and I discussed financial matters, how much we'd need to find a way out of this big burden of problems.. He's discussed banrupcy and I was against it at first with out truly realizing that he might be right.. So we're gonna look into it.. We discussed the fact that if we continue on this path of financial problems we will not be together in 3 yrs.. We both know it in the back of our minds but again its very hard to say for sure,unless we dont start changing things now.. So I ask that y'all keep us in prayer over this decision and thats its the right one in the near future.. We only make so much and I think its the hardest part to make this choice, and even though if we dont make a choice soon we'd definatly are gonna see more problem..

Right now we're watching Ghost Hunters Season 3 and its my favorite so far. So right now just enjoying the night, it looks like it rained today so the air smells good and fresh.. So thats nice.. So I just thought I'd post it's not a very long post due to being very tired and just emotinally drained out.. Otherwise doing ok.. Hope y'all are good..

Love & Light
Laura

Shift Back to Normal.

Hola All..

Lets see life is starting to shift to normal around here. I am so glad to..Finally the holidays are behind us and we can now move forward to a new year in 2008.. My DH has been so exhausted and not used to the day time hours and my son well into over drive and extreemly cranky.. Yesterday my lil wee one was so tired that we forced him to lay down at least an hour and he did but still woke up cranky and went to bed fighting due to not wanting to but to get up and play.. I finally had to shut the door and take his stuffed dog from him to make him go to bed. DH course sacked out on the couch all night sleeping and I knew he was tired and just needed some due rest.. Grandma stopped by to give me the exchange of Christmas gift that she bought was a coat but the coat was to small. So I got a real nice shirt and a slip on jacket like and it's purple! Yeah!

So today was nice and DH got up around 6am and I heard him get up but didnt realize the time and last night we gotten into it but thats ok he was tired and I had to let it go and let God work on both of us.. So we just relaxed and I played my PS 3 for an hour b4 retiring to bed.. My AF (period) is here so I'm pretty tired and just worn out course I had a cold last week and just got over that on Sunday.. So needless I'm still recouping.. We went grocery shopping and went a little over-board but at least we have food for the month and half to be sure that we're set on that.. We have to figure out how to fix my Chevy S10 truck and find a way to get it runnig at least and fix it slowly.. The only way we know how.. We would love to move to a different apartment but again its hard due to needing the time and space to move and get the bills current and the truck running is the top priority right now..

Lets see what else? DS is well, finally over his ear infections (Double) and he still has a cold and coughing some but other wise he's doing well.. We're due for rain this weekend and tonight and I am so glad to we need all the rain God can send to California.. We're desprate for rain to.. Lets see what else? Not much else.. DH took down our Christmas stuff and we're slowly getting the house "Normal" thats why I say shift to normal again.. Life is getting normal and once again we can start to enjoy the new year with out much of a fuss at least attempt to.. This sunday will be the first time in attending church since last April and we've been needing to go for so long but again its not fault or blame its life.. Things come up and been extreemly difficult but God dont give us more than we handle in life even though it feels like its more than we can bear..

Well, I do pray y'all had a wonderful New Years and that God graced all of you healthy and happy.. We're getting things there and in due time I cant complaine to much! Well let us begin 2008 ! God bless..

Love & Light
Laura

Happy New Year 2008

Well, Its almost 2008 and boy where did the time go? It'll be near 10 yrs since my parents death's and yet the world dont stop for that or for anyone.. So I wanted to wish y'all a Happy New Year and be blessed in 2008 .. Love you all..

Love & Light
Laura

Gearing up for 2008

Hola All...

Well my friends, this week has been wonderful.. I have to admit Christmas was great and didnt go to fast and even though my sweet son was sick with double ear infections and a cold, and now mommy is sick to :( Well we've had not only kiddo sick but great uncle Rick sick with a cold to, so no wonder plus I loaded the car with as much gifts as I could from the family of 3 here.. Going in/out of the severe cold and now I'm sick with a cold.. UGH! Other wise I feel fine , just very tired and hope to keep going as much as I can even though DH is working graveyard and I have to tend to the wee one on top of feeling crappy.. I'm sitting here drinking my OJ I got at the store to keep some type of vitiman C in me to get over this cold, thank God I havent ran a fever useally I do if its real bad cold so thank God for that.. I took a hot shower due to needing one and just wanted to warm my bones up.. BRR!

Lets see what else? We went to grt-grandmas on Weds, DH had that day off to recoup and he was overly tired and was an ass to me and been mean to me for 2 nights before he goes to work, he apolgized to me today but I told him I am sick I need the extra help.. So he's trying but not quite what I'm wanting him to do.. OH well! He made me mashed tators and herb chicken, mmm soothed my throat due to the slight sore throat right now.. I just ate some soothing mazarella sticks and mm those helped and I was hungry didnt eat much today due to feeling crappy.. My son ate well and even took a nap! I was shocked! He fell asleep in my arms and then woke up and took him to his bed where he finished his nap, and I rested some to by closing my eyes and rested some b4 DS came and wanted some lunch.. So we did that.. All in all a good day despite of having to battle this cold and the cold air outside going to the store to get some more cold meds and some advil for my throat and then some food for the weekend, we gottena gift card for groceries but one tiny problem, the stores that it can only take it arent here in the city we're in ! So I am not thrilled but thats OK. We'll deal with it...

Well, I wanted to post and update y'all on how my son is doing from his ear infections, he's doing much better thank you all for the prayers that went out for him, that is a blessing in so many ways.. Now just pray he keeps well and that mommy gets well to now.. hehe! Well, I hope to see many of you in 2008 and may the Lord bless you and keep you, and may his face shine upon you as we enter 2008.. I love you all..

Love & Light
Laura

Christmas Day, Merry Christmas!

Hola

Well we are home and exhausted.. We made out like bandits today in gifts and such.. So now we're going through the gifts and taking out the boxes and such, the big cleaning will be tomorrow and take out trash and such.. I cant wait.. I want the house normal as possible before New Years.. My son, made out like a bandit, got a drawing desk, cloths, pjs and slippers, a truck and 2 small cars (Lightning McQueen) one a Frarie and the other a blue car.. My SIL's husband dressed up as Santa and did a big production for my son , he loved it even though he feels crappy he was in good spirits.. He ate well, takes meds very well, so I am happy even though he felt miserable.

We got up early this morning me and kiddo. DH got home around 6:30 and woke me up but let me rest some, I didnt sleep worth squat last night (Due to DH not home w/me and I dont feel safe) so my son crashed last night and slept he's allowed to stay up a little bit tonight due to its still Christmas, so I'm letting him have some fun and wind down from going to DH's mom's place for the day, we all had a good time and left around 7:30 or so to get a drink and head home, I did the driving both ways and I 'm tired now.. My allergies are bad right now and so hope that I can take some more tylenol sinus and go to bed.. I"m in my warm flannel pants my SIL got me, she bought me 2 pairs and I got new pjs and DH got me slippers and socks...

LIke I said we all made out like bandits but the food was ok for dinner enough to want/need to eat and then we opened gifts after, we dont rush in opening gifts, we take our time due to being so much of them.. DH's Uncle was sick to a cold so we had 2 family members sick this Christmas.. I felt bad for our loved ones, and me and DH are so tired we were fighting sleep most of the day..

Well, I wanted to post before the day was out .. I hope y'all had a blessed Christmas and a great and glorious day!

Love & Light

Laura

Christmas Eve........

Hola All,

Merry Christmas! Well today has been exhausting! I am so tired and do not know what to do w/myself, seriously! I have last minute cleaning to do and vacuuming to do but I cant do that till my boys wake up, they are resting right now and we are just enjoying a very hazy day here in the Central California.. I was hoping for some sunshine but no..

My poor son has a double ear infection so he's on antibiotics for that, just gave him his first dose hope he'll rest today so he can enjoy Christmas tomorrow with he family even though he feels like crap.. He slept with me last night and due me we didnt get much rest, tonight after DH goes to work and DS in bed for the night I'll pull the gifts out and put them around the tree so I can take pictures in the morning.. We spent the moring in the ER and man thats gonna cost some money but hey my son's health is more important.. Lets see not much going on here,just need to get my lazy butt up and start tackling this place and make it more relaxing and inviting..:)

I do hope and pray y'all have a wonderful Christmas and a great day.. God bless..

Love & Light
Laura

3 Days Before Christmas..

Hola

Well here we are 3 days before Christmas and still a little bit to do.. I am amazed how fast and serious time is going this year thank God.. I am glad the clock is slowing down and that we're so close to having time to enjoy the holidays.. My DH is at work, 2nd night on Grave-yard shift so far he likes it but still a struggle to sleep in the day time while me and DS are up having our day and doing the "normal" things in life,such as laundry, errend running and just enjoying the chilly air.. It looked cloudy all day and looked as though it could rain but I am not sure, the forcast didnt say rain,but we sure could use more of it.. Today I actually got 3 rounds of dishes done, 2 loads of laundry finished just need to worsh towels and then I'll be caught up till next week.. I like to have the holidays clear and beautiful for us to enjoy with out the house a mess and things out of order at leat the common areas of our home..

I am amazed how beautiful the air is even though I am in the city its still nice and cool and you gotta go out with a jacket of some sort and brr cold! My g/f is visiting her in-laws this weekend and I am not sure if we'll see each other this weekend and honestly I dont mind,I know Christmas is around the corner and her daughter Bday is Sunday her DH's bday is today.. So she's busy... But we'll talk soon on via-IM on Weds or Thurs of this next week before we ring in the new year..

I have been busy trying to get DS to go to bed so I can play my game a bit or read awhile before I turn in , I am exhausted and just need some rest, I slept 2 hrs for a nap this afternoon while DH was up and DS finally went down for his nap for 2 hrs also.. So its like 10:30 and battle with DS for bed for an hour now.. UGH.! But he's 2 so I cant complaine but he's been sick the past 2 days he's feeling better but still whinny and grumpy so hope he'll be better by Monday full back to normal self so he wont be so crabby when we see family on Christmas Day.. A full house at least 15ppl if not more will be there.. I am amazed that I get to spend some time with my DH for Christmas, I feel so spoiled and yet so blessed by all that God has shown favor the past few days even though circumstances havent been great this year I still yearn to my faith in the Lord and know He'll never give us more than we can handle .. I have to keep reminding myself of that and things will be much easier.. Course for me I hate change but like my family and friends tell me I have to learn to go with the flow and learn a few things but it isnt easy!

I am blessed to have good freinds whom let me vent and share my heart with out judgement or condemnation.. I so badly need more people like that in my family who can just talk and not feel judged or guieded when I know in my heart what I should do and what I do..If that makes sense? Well I hope everyone is safe and healthy this holiday season.. May y'all be blessed beyond what you ask for.. Love yas!

Love & Light
Laura

Christmas in Gear.

Hola From the Home Front..

Well this past weekend was wonderful, we spend time with our dear freinds the Hieberts.. We drove the 3.5 hrs to their house and the fwy was nice and clear and the weather couldnt have been more perfect! I am so thrilled about that.. I did most of the driving and DH sat and realxed while I did that.. We picked up a quick meal for breakfast even though we ate at the Hieberts we still were hungry and only going off maybe 4 hrs of sleep.. So thats been what we've been up to.. I am glad to see things settling down..

We got there around 11:30-12noon and ate a nice brunch and headed to the beach so we had to take 2 cars to the beach cuz that is all 9 of us, just wait till I have another baby that'll make 10 of us if not 11 by next year LOL! Lord help us!

It was so good to see my g/f Tangee we talk by Via -IMs , text message, and phone, but its so much easier in person due to not seeing each other often.. We got to start planning 2008 to see each other at least 2x a year so that we we can keep our Dh's talking and our boys together.. Our boys are only 5months and 2 days apart to amazing and they both just love to visit when they can and have time.. I am grateful for that.. So we had a wondeful time at the beach played and talked and our husbands hung out and talked we pray they form a good solid friendship together and open up on some personal issues.. I am glad for that.. We've been trying for about 3 yrs to get those guys to talk !

So that night after sandwhiches and chips and coffee and soda we all relaxed and open gifts and talked while their kids went to bed and we decided around 7pm to start heading back home due to the 3 plus hour drive.. I drove part of the way at least 2 hrs and DH drove the last hour and half home due to me feeling very tired and worn out.. So that was nice..

I just hope we can go down again soon in a few months and see and talk more, once I get my own car again, we can meet in maybe Tulare or some place remote and easy to find.

Well thats about it here, just need to finish wrapping and finish up the stuff we need to do and then we're going over to Dh's grandmas for a little while and I need to take the day in the next 2 days and get my glasses fixed.. Dh works grave-yard for 2 weeks starting this coming Thursday and I am not happy about it,he's working 5days till Christmas and has Christmas off so we'll be going up to his mom's place and the whole family will be there at least 15 people so it'll be packed! Its supposed to rain Christmas Eve so we'll see how Christmas day goes.. I guess I finally felt fine bout the whole schedule change and its hard and why now why not in January or some thing ya know?

Any who just trying to enjoy the Christmas spirit even though things this year has been hard and just need a good year and blessed of God.. I know God dont give us more than we can handle and so just gotta keep the faith and in his arms during this time..

I hope everyone has a good holiday and are blessed, stay safe! Merry Christmas!

Love & Light
Laura

Hola..

Well, today was busy even though I didnt get my glasses fixed so I'll go some time this week.. DH works tomorrow, and he has a meeting in the AM, ick.. So its me and lil J at home donig whatever.. Then we ate at Taco Bell,and had a good time there, went up to DH's work to pick up his checks, his bonus and such, so that was nice.. DH got some movies and in fact I hate the movies he picked out one is License to Wed and the other is Diries ugh!

Anyway just relaxing at home, sort of depressed, ugh I hate this.. I think after I have a 2nd baby I'll ask for some meds in case it gets worse.. Well, I am tired, about to go and relax.. Have a great night!

Love & Light
Laura

RE: Here and There..

Hola All..

Well its been awhile since I posted on this blog, I have way to many to blog and post,help! Anyway things here have been good.. Dealing with no car to drive and hubby is driving my car the cavalier so far due to him smashing the S10 Chevy (not intentally but its there).. We've been looking at cars lately and I think I found a car I want, its a KIA Rondo SUV small and wonderful to drive its a 4.2 cylendars and drives like a dream.. OMG I cant wait to get my hands on that car!

Other than that not much going on here, I'm a bit peeved at my mother in law , very long story, but its eh not talking to her much.. She risked my son's life for no reason and so now she 's not allowed to baby sit for awhile except when we go up to visit and drive around thats it, other wise she's not allowed to drive with him with her for a long while.. I dont trust her nor do I want to trust her right now..

Well my period should be soon done,thank God, I am like not bad month really,been pretty light. My G/F and I started and ended together so that'll be wierd if we both got preg at the same time oy! We're TTCing as it is anyway just really need to focus on that part now and get it done so I can have another baby b4 my body changes more.. EEK its near 3AM and I'd best get my butt in bed, I'll post more tomorrow when I get up.. Talk later!

Love & Light
Laura

PC Is Back!

Hola All

Well its been a very long week! My pc had problems with its hardware and now its fixed yes! So I just got it back an hour and half ago.. Things have been boaring this week and been hard to deal with since my PC was gone to be fixed.. The hard drive has a new case to it and works like a dream, alot better than before.. I have to admit that.. Now you can tell I have comcast high speed internet.. hehe.. So hit me up when y'all read this.. Luv ya..

Love & Light
Laura

Things Looking Up..

Hola All..

Well things might be looking up .. Its been awhile since I last posted on here, been so busy looking for a job and I think I got one! Yes Praise be to God Above! I stepped out in faith and a gal at Walgreens gave me a web site and I started to look at it and I got a job bite, yes!!!!!!!! I am so relieved.. We need more money coming in the house and then coming in to help releive the stress of DH and I this is not to much to ask God but I do thank him for it.. YES!

Lets see what else.. Today seemed so trivial but DH and I got into it b4 we knew that I might have landed a job.. Anyway I did 5 loads of laundry last night and then I did and DH did 3 batches of dishes.. I am like whoa! Lets see what else? We browsed Target and now Christmas will be ok and the new year looks great.. I am so releived and just glad things are going to work out.. I cant be so glad to see how much God does work in small and big ways..

Well time to sign off and eat dinner.. God bless...

Love & Light
Laura

A Mess Again, UGH!

Hola..

Well another week ahead of us.. Lucky that DH goes back to work tomorrow and so DS and I can start back to schedule again just the 2 of us.. Tomorrow the bug people are going to spray our place and the ones around us.. I am so sick of bugs and I pray this works! They should have done that 6months ago.. So tomorrow we'll be out of the house for 4 hrs and then come home and start putting the place back together.. Its a mess right now due to stuff out of our kitchen and hallway and we have to open the doors and let them spray and then I got to come home after 4 hrs and open the windows and door for about 30 mins to air it out and then we can start back in and start putting things back in the cabnets and hallway..

Well we celebrated my Mother In Law's birthday yesterday ( her bday was today) and so we went to this place calle Colorado Grill we have one up the street,and forgot about it, and so we went to the one out on Herndon/Blackstone.. Then we went to the pumpkin patch and then home to celebrate and her open gifts and have cake/ice cream and then they left for the night, and I got DS down for bed and we relaxed and I went to get us some movies and I got 3 movies.. One is called We are Marshels, Georgia Rule, and Reign Over me w/Adam Sandler.. Good movies except Georgia Rule that was a hard movie for me to watch for those who's seen it you'll know why.. We went to bed and then got up a few mins b4 10 AM and been sort of on the go since.. Mom in law and Sis in law stopped by real quick and gave us some bug bombs but we're not gonna use them just yet.. We need to clean out our room first and then set them off.. Spray for now and see if that helps..

So then I laid down after battling DS over his nap time and he finally went down around 3:30pm and slept awhile.. I got him down around 11pm tonight after 3x of going back to bed, that will take a bit to get used to for him and us.. So far going ok.. Then I went to lay down around 4:30 woke up around 6pm and slept weird had 2 weird dreams and then went to get us some pizza for dinner and for tomorrow to.. Due to all the cleaning and putting things away will take time.. So hope tomorrow we'll get some of this stuff put up and dealt with.. I wanted to go out today but since we have to head out tomorrow no biggy.. Anyway thats been the last 2 days or so.. More tomorrow to come.. Ugh! I swear all of this stuff makes me want to scream!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! O well such as life.. Time to close up..God bless'G'night

Love & Light
Laura

An Ok Day

Hola All.

Well as you can see my blog tital its an ok day.. By that I mean is I didnt feel to hot today.. My sinuses were whacky and my nose ran and just felt horrible. I took sudifed for my sinus presasure and drippin nose.. It took nearly all day to deal with the sinus preasure and just felt icky.. I got up late around 12:30 but went to bed late around 3:00 am last night.. So I was pretty tired from like Mid-night till 3am due to just being blah.. Then I got Dh in the shower with me and so we took one, dressed and got ready to leave to have some lunch then return the movies we rented, then we went to Target to return a belt for the vacumm due to the wrong size, and got the right size.. Then we went to Walmart and looked around there and came home. I left again to get some toilet paper and St. Johns for us.. Then DH left after we did some cleaning to see if he could get a coffee pot and so no good there.. We fought a lil bit cuz we were both hungry.. We ate dinner and had a peice of chocolate. We went to a store that out here called Seas Candy's oh so good stuff.. We bought a few pieces.. So the place is looking up.. I read a lil bit of a book a freind got me ooo man spicy! hehe then I slept for a lil bit. I was tired.. Now watching ER enjoying myself.. Its so nice to relax and just breath.. The house isnt perfect but what isnt anymore.. Life isnt perfect so no need for my home to be:) My son Josh will be home tomorrow, I am so releived that he'll be home and see his room all new and looking good and I even tackled my desk! I swear its a season of change and enlightenment.. I am glad for the season and glad for the time to change and be happy with in the change.. I cant say that I am thrilled for the changes but its good that I go through them one step at a time.. EH.? Well thats all about my day,not sure about tomorrow so we'll see how things go all day.. We have to go shopping for Grandma's (MIL) bday its on Monday and Sunday is the pumkin patch day to get Josh a pumkin.. That'll be fun to do.. The forcast says rain.. We'll see! Well thats it for now.. Time to close up..

Love & Light
Laura

October 10th..

Hola

Well today was interesting to say the least.. We went to get Joshua's bed and the matress will be ready by tomorrow around noonish.. Which is fine with me.. So we got the bed in and then we got some stuff settled in his room.. We took a break for about an hour, then we started cleaning and going through stuff and vacumming the floors.. We got rid of the recliners (Double hooked) and its sitting in the truck ready to go, and got rid of some baby things we didnt use for Josh.. We went to Arby's for lunch oh so good before we came home.. Then we after we got the stuff done. we went to the dollar tree, 99c store, and blockbuster, and then longs and home, by then I was so tired and my feet were killing me.. Then we rented 2 movies Fantastic 4 and Evin Almighty good movies..Just finished Fantastic 4 and I think they'll be a 3rd movie from it..

Josh should be home either Thurs or Friday and I'm looking fwd to him coming home.. I miss him alot,but its nice to have some down time, which I havent had in a very long time.. Its given Dh and I some time to get together and get some things done that needed done.. I am glad that things are looking up and are cleaned some.. That does take aload off my mind and prepare for Christmas and Thanksgiving.. I need to write a Christmas list out so people know what I'm asking for for all of us.. We just got minor cleaning to do tomorrow but not alot.. I want to go to the movies but none of what I'd like to see.. Which suxs! WAH! Then what else? I think thats it.. So far things are nice and the weather is beautiful feels so much like fall and I cant wait for some rain and coolness to hit.. Well thats my day.. It stems from the earlier post and this one are combined so feel free to read them both and then comment.. Like I said we've been doing alot lately.. But its all good though..

Love & Light
Laura

Josh's birthday...

Hola..

Well today was Joshua's birth day October 7, 2007 and boy time flies when your having fun.. He's 2 yrs old now and he's such a big boy. Staying with Grandma for a few days which will give daddy and I a chance to re-do his room and get his new bed in there and clean it up.. I am so glad that we can clean things up in his room, looks 100% better.. For his bday he got a spider-man chair, a sing thingy, cloths which are to big, shoes and I think thats it.. He had a spidy cake which was cute and ice-cream.. He dont get sweets to often so that works for him.. He was exhausted by the time he went to bed and I am sure he had a blast yesterday to with Grandma, they said they got a wagon for him.. We'll need to get sheets for J's bed today to and the gaurd rails so he wont fall out of the bed when he sleeps.. I cant believe the crib and a dresser is out of the room.. Looks so much bigger than before.. Which is nice and its vacummed and just looks so good..

What else? I had to take a nice hot bath last night, my back was hurting and my neck tocaused a headache and that helped some.. Just glad we got through the day.. We went grocery shopping and got some food chicken and a few other things and I got myself some good cheesecake of all sorts of stuff, its a chocolate cheesecake of diff kinds oh so good! YUM! So I am about to go shower and get my tail dressed so we can go get the bed and get it back here set it up and then the rest of the day we can play! yeah!

Well hope thats it.. Thats all I can think of if I think of more I'll add to the post.. God bless!

Love & Light
Laura

What a Day!

Hola

Well today was rough.. We started vacation today and then we went out to lunch at McD's and then left for Walmart but they didnt have a single thing there I liked for DS.. I wasnt thrilled.. So I was in a real bitchy mood today..But all is well. Dinner is cooking and I am starved ! DS is in bed and out like a light.. Poor lil man so tired. Right now I am waiting on laundry to finish washing so I can switch it to the dryer and relax a while my feet are killing me.. Ugh! Then what else.O we went to Taraget and got DS 3 movies and then a Spidy man T-Shirt for tomorrow I'm washing his pants.. He finally got a hair cut and DH got his done.. DS fought like a lion for getting his hair cut.. No wonder why he's so tired.. LOL! I got to wrap gifts for him and then his card, get his toys together still so there's a lil bit to do, not alot but enough.. Well thats it for now.. I'll prob post Monday..

Love & Light
Laura

Hola

Well this week has been long to say the least.. I am glad its over, at least its Friday, yah! Well today I got up and woke up kind of fast due to needing to do a few things and get caught up with house work due to my period I dont do much on real heavy days.. So I did 2 loads of laundry and folded those, put the towels in the basket to wash tomorrow, and packed DS's bag for next week staying at Grandma's place for 3 days.. I need a break from my kid.. Then took a nice bath/shower shaved my legs and such, washed up , my period is almost over thank God.. Dressed and relaxed fed son lunch, and let him play a while, he watched a movie I laid down for an hour & half to rest then got dinner for DS ready and he ate while I did dishes, so now they are done, did them in 30 min intervolts.. So now waiting on DH to get home so we can start our vacation.. This will be nice.. We want to do dinner and a movie but no movie I am interested in playing.. I ate the last 2 corn dogs and now I am hungry for some dinner.. Worked off lunch LOL! All I need to do now is pack J's toys and get them ready. Got his cloths laid out for tomorrow so we can go out get 2 hair cuts, one for J and one for DH.. Wash and clean out my car its a mess and get gas for it fill it mostly for Sunday , and go to Walmart and shopp for J's birthday gifts for him, that will be fun.. I am looking fwd to that.. My son will be 2 yrs old on Sunday man dont time fly.. I am continusly amazed how fast the time does go.. Lets see what else? I guess thats it.. We'll be up in Oakhurst on Sunday around 10-:30 -11am and pick up my son's birth day cake and just have alot of fun and relaxing.. Hope my period will be done by then it should be due to the fact I started this past week ( Sunday) Well thats all I can think of for now.. I will prob post tomorrow and after J's party to put up pics if I can.. Hope all is well with loved ones..

Love & Light
Laura

Adoptin Anniversary..

Well, today was my 28th adoption anniversary.. I finally called my family to see if they were coming to my sons' bday party this coming Sunday and nope, no one can make it.. Newphew is working a new job, and my sister cant afford to make it.. :( Which suxs.. She made last years and that was nice..

Today we went to Target, the Game Shop, and blockbuster, got a coffee drink, and lets see what else? I think thats it.. There's a game I want to get for my PS 3 console and it looks fun.. Right now I am waiting on CSI Miami to come on for the new episode for season 6.. I think its the 3rd episode.. So I am like so bored out of my mind.. CSI comes on in 1 hr.. Anywho just wanted to type out and give myself some thing to do... Lalala! LOL Help!

Love & Light
Laura

Stressful Day!

Hola,

Well today was very stressful I got to admit.. Every ounce of my energy is spent.. I was going out today and pay our Truck's tags or drop them off at the DMV well, to say the least the Clovis DMV moved! So no street address or any thing just stated they moved.. So I was pissed.. I stopped at Allstate to get the insurence checked and then went to the DMV and well as y'all know moved. Then got me a coffee drink then drove out to ther other DMV across town so I did that and traffic was so bad, Ugh! So I tried to pay the bill on the DMV Tags and well DS wouldnt go into the DMV he screamed , cried and carried on, so I took him out and dropped him off at Grandmas and so she fed him lunch and then I went back to the DMV to drop the tags off, and then a guy offered to work on my car to get a dent out and double wax it and that cost me some money.. So, I go back over to her place and I visited with her for awhile and talked then DS was getting tired so I thought best to get home and in bed for him, so I took him to McD's for dinner and I hadnt eaten all day due to the heat and stress and the runs in my tummy which is ugh again.. So now I am bushed and so ready to relax and take a nice hot bath put on my sweats and watch a movie or play my game not sure.. I need to veg out for awhile.. Tomorrow I am going to do the laundry and play catch up on some house work that I've kept up but some need a cleaning.. So thats what I am going to do..

Well I do hope y'all are better than I am.. What a day! Good Lord never been through so much stress and frustrations.. Well I am off to take a hot bath.. Luv ya all..MUAH!

Love & Light
Laura

* Edit and Update*

Well I did take a shower and put on my sweats and then I took out the laundry which was 3 loads and then after that I was exhausted but felt fine.. Sat, I felt horrible, had a major headache which I'll discuss with the Dr if I keep having them and they dont let up no matter what I do.. Which I want to get preg in 08 so any prescription will have to either wait or agree with my pregnancy so we'll see.. Today was ok went to the 99c store and got food and then came home and dealt with a whinny kid.. LONG day! Whew! Glad its over.. And DH is off today and that he'll work 4 days this week and off for 10 days.. Yeah! Anyway just wanted to vent some.. Hope all is well...

Car Fixed..

Hola

Well the truck is taken care of.. Thank God! Man what an ordeal.. We had a flat on Sunday and then DH replaced and put the spare on, and it went flat.. So needless to say that didnt work out.. So we called DH's grandma since she has towing service, and it took us over an hour to get the car towed back to the house.. So DH dropped me and DS off and went to work, I was pissed cuz I wanted a day to myself and that didnt work.. So yesterday (Monday) DH had a meeting at work, then the power goes out for an hour and then we take the spare off, pump it up with air, come back and put the spare on, all the while I am stuck at home till Dh takes care of the tire.. So Dh takes the truck to Pepboys and his grandma bought us 2 brand new tires.. If we needed she would have bought us 4 tires.. So I am releived that the truck has 2 new ones.. New shoes! Hehe!

So we went to dinner at Denny's I wasnt very hungry due to the heat and stress.. DS did well and so we left there, picked up the truck and brought it home and then we picked up a movie and then stopped at the store, for a few things and came home we were bushed! So I'm enjoying time to relax b4 I go out and pick up a few movies and just run some light errends.. Thats the good part..!

Well thats about it here, just relaxing enjoying life and things calm now.. Hope no more crap going on.. I need a cappucino blast coffee, yum! Those are sooo good! I havent had one in a week, and been wanting one for a while.. Well Tootles!

Love & Light
Laura

Stormy Weather nor Not?

Well let see is it going to storm? I hope so that way my allergies arent on the fritz ugh.. But lately I've felt like crap since last night and I am not sure why.Ugh! All I want to do now is sleep and dream lands.. DS didnt want to nap today but after rocking him and calming him down, he went to sleep yes! Thank you God! Well thats all I can post for now we'll see how I feel later on today..

Love & Light
Laura

Nothing New.

Well not much is new around here.. Just doing the every day stuff,that I do. DS has been missing his naps more often than not. The past 2 days he's just refused to nap, so tonight he napped for about an hour and refused to go to bed.. I am like AHH! Then we had taco's for dinner and boy that was good. We went out earlier today, got the rest of the groceries, and 2 movies to rent. We havent watched the movies yet, but will probably tomorrow.. They look good. I finally finished Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prnice. Very good book its book 6 in the series.. I am now on Chamber of Secrets. I am glad to finally read the books that are part of the movies I have so far.. I did laundry last night, 4 loads and took out trash, and man my back was killing me.. The weather has cooled considerably and I am glad for that, was sick of the 90 degree's and now we're in the 80's and soon drop into the 70's the end of the week, YEAH!

As some of you may know, I love fall, and the cool weather it brings, I hope to attend recovery tomorrow night, we'll see, its a new group but the recovery from abuse isnt started yet and I myself cant lead when I am not healed totally from the past.. Maybe one day I can lead a group once I get alot of my own spirit and mind healed and restored in some compacity.. That is up to God.. We cleaned house tonight, got some of the stuff cleaned and trash out the door, I am glad for DH's help finally I've been barking at him for 2 weeks on doing some things.. He works tomorrow but he might be off next weekend for the whole 2 days so we'll see.. I am used to him working now 6days and no big deal but it would be nice to have some time and spend it together a bit more..

Well thats about it here, just thought I'd post.. Talk later...

Love & Light
Laura

Life... Memorial of 9/11/01

Well its not the 4th of July but its a starts in blue/white/red that symbolize our country in the memorial of 9/11 of 2001..I recall that day so vividly I was nearly married 6months when this happened.. Thankfully I wasnt pregnant yet.. So as we remember how and the day our lives were changed in such a drasic way and for those whom have lost loved ones in the twin towers and in the planes we must not forget that they died to save this country in the flight 93 who knew they were facing death if they couldnt pull the plane up in time.. I think if our Nation's capitol was a target then it would have been a by far darker day than it was.. Our icons were targeted and next could be what our schools? Our big corporations? Things that cause the very heart of America and those who wish to see America taken down from its petistole and not of very high power,but that will not happen as long as God is on the throne,but I know this nation needs to repent of alot of things as to any other country who stands..

On a lighter note, life here is good. Just taking things one day at a time and relying on God as many Americans do to keep thier faith in him and on him alone.. We all know how God provides our needs according to his riches in glory.. So we must take hold of that promise and see it fulfilled in daily task and lives.. :) I am just glad that things are slowly turning to good and that things will eventually pan out even .. Just gonna take a few months.. I hope not that long but hey cant compline right?! Well thats about it here..Just chilling out and loving the weather.. God bless y'all...

Love & Light
Laura

Convo with my Nephew.. *Disturbing News*

Well, I just talked to my nephew and we had a great talk.. We discussed his brother and family and my family and we talked about his mom.. My sister.. He said that she cut herself off of the family and that according to my nephew Matt, that her DH is a bully and an butthead.. I can say worse, but honestly I dont know the man well enough.. All I know is she needs to not be so co-dependant and learn to live on her own.. Hard as that sounds its the only thing she should do.. I mean yeah she adopted some kids, but thats not the true reason to stay with some one who treats your kids like shit and not respect your kids who are adults and need help.. Yea some times I wished some one would help me buy a house but ya know. Why have that hang over my head that some one has the power to say when or what I can do in my own home? I dont think so.. So yeah its best to learn how to do things by myself and not have to depend on other people who think they know best.. Not nescerrly they know best.. My nephew also said that Aric his brother and family are moving back here to Cali he wants to graduate a bulldog ( Our State University has a bulldog mascott) and so he wants to move him and his wife and 3 kids out here by the end of next year.. I honestly think it's best to do that..Since its got to be some sort of deal where they can make a better life and not depend on anyone.. As hard as it sounds we all have to learn to do things on our own, if we dont,then we'd end up in alot worse situation than we are now..

So things are a tad of a mess.. We talked bout the past some and about my parents home and how much we'd love to get back the house.. Some day I think we all are going to try and see about getting it back.. but I need some congreat evidence to see what I can do to see if anything is fraud and dont illegally.. Well thats it for now. Just need to think... I love my sister yes, and I know deep down she has alot of growing up to do and needs to find a way to learn a few things.. Well, thats it for now.. God bless..

Laura

A Off Day

Well today was a very off day.. My period is still hanging around and now I got a headache.. Ugh! I cant win.. My son was a good boy today and didnt fuss to much or have to much of problems.. We had to buy diapers and I hate them.. I wished I stuck to Huggies or some thing similure..We got Parents choice ones and they are horrible.. UGH! I wanted to go out and have a full day of fun, but it didnt work out that way..My Dh sat on his ass and watched movies and shows all day while I took a bath and shaved my legs and had a nice time then turn around it was nap time for DS.. So he takes a nap and I am suddenly tired so I lay down.. I slept about an hour or so.. DS slept 2hrs and got up had lunch and we left around 5:30 pm instead of around 2pm.. I was so pissed.. We went to Wallmart and then to Blockbuster and then to Walgreens then home.. Its been a horrible day.. I hated it and glad its over.. DH didnt make my day any nicer by sitting on his ass all day long.. He did though take out the trash and so forth and just been doing ok.. He swept up by DS's high chair and vacumed for me.. So thats nice,but there's still dishes to do and other stuff.. I am tired and I need to take some thing for this damn headache and maybe read my Harry Potter book to escape for awhile.. I know DH will bug the hell out of me, and he normally does.. I want to play my PS 3 and my Harry Potter game but again DH has to watch a damn movie.. Its always movies.. Nothing new under the sun I swear.. I'll do laundry tomorrow or the next day.. I am to out of it to try and do it tonight.. All I want is some escape to feel like I can finally just breath and be alone.. I wanted to go out by myself today.. But NO, DH wanted to go with me..UGH! I hate it, truly do..I just wish I could get a few days alone and have DS with me.. I prefer DS with me than DH.. He drives me batty! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway had to vent Hope everyone had a great Labor Day...

Laura

Reading For Hours...

Well Hello ...

Well I've been taking it an easy for the past 2 days and its been nice.. My AF (Period) showed up on Friday the 31st of August.. Now mind you we are now in September.. I cant believe summer I pray comes to a close soon and fall on its way.. I am so ready... We'll be in the 100's a couple more days and then should drop into the 90's by the mid week.. So far my DH has to only work 6days this new week yeah! I am so happy about that.. I asked him how long this will last and he said about 4 weeks.. O well God has answered our finanical prayer and crisis.. I am so thankful for that..

Now on to the recent couple days.. I've read the Harry Potter series.. I havent read ALL of the books but so far Order of the Phoenix and Deathly Hallows, wow what great books! Next is Prisioner of Azaxban and the finish Goblet of Fire.. Then I'll buy the other 3 books and read those.. Man the books are great, I am so enjoying them emensly! I have to admit not going to give away the last book but say its very good and cant wait for the movie to come out on it.. That will be a blessing..

Well tomorrow (Sunday) I shall try and finish what dishes are left and then try and maybe do a load of laundry and get that caught up.. I am tired I read the last part of the book read from 5pm till near 2am.. I just finished.. I love to read for hours and I would all day and night if I could.. I just love falling into a book an forget the life and things around me, its a stress relese for me to read and escape life..

Well,thats about it just cant wait for AF to lessen up and go away for a month.. DH and I are discussing when to have another baby and I said any time.. So we're thinking more and more... So I am taking my time and not rush into things.. Its in Gods time not mine so we'll take things as they go.. Well I'd better get ready for bed, I am tired.. Hope all is well.. TTYL!

Love & Light
Laura

Internet Frustrations/Busy Day..

Well, ok lets try this again! My internet has gone crazy and it wouldnt let me post my previous blog entry and hence, do it over again! AHH! Well lets see tell you about my week.. Well so far its been busy and having to re-boot my PC at least 1x a day to keep it from going haywire and acting all sluggish.. Its been so hot here around 100's and today was 106 outside, whew! I swear its been very very hot..

I woke up this morning after being so tired last night from doing 3 loads of laundry well it would have been 4 if I didnt have to do the last load today in this heat.. Well to say the least, I was so tired my eyes have been burning and I'm so like my allergies are bad and just wore me out to top it all off the heaet does it to. I need a cooler climate that is for sure.. I would love to live like in a rainy state such as Oregon or Washington St.. I pray one day we can.. Anyway back to my day, I know not very exciting and probably very boring to some of my readers:) So then as I am trying to accomplish a million and one things such as dishes, laundry and my sweet Dh works 7 days this week, not by choice mind you..Its how it landed.. I hate the fact that he has to work till Monday and that so far is the only day off he has for God knows how long.. He ( DH) thinks he'll have to work 6-7 days in the next month.. I am NOT very happy but hey at least our bills get paid and no hope (Crosses fingers) more over draft fees from the bank.. This summer has been nice but majorly warm and often hot as it has been on/off.. No wonder people are struggling health wise to stay cool and drink plenty of fluids..

So today I showered around 2pm, and dressed, cleaned my bathroom at least started it, looks a little better I might add.. I did dishes , as I said before that I did one load of laundry and washed my DS's stuffed dog he has..Needed a washing and our bedding stuff needs to be refreshed and washed.. I swear lately thats all I've been doing.. I played my PS 3 on Saturday and had a blast, I look forward to the weekend to play it again all day long hehe :) Then I went to the new gas station here in town, and it has a car wash but its going to charge alot of money to get it washed since it just opened recently.. So gotta wait on that .. Next weekend not this weekend due to Labor day and all of the travelors, my sweet DS will go and spend a weekend at Grandmas to give mommy and daddy a chance to de-bug this place and clean it up (Which will take a bulk of a day) to do.. but it needs to be done, there are bugs every where and its getting old.. I pray we acn do this..I want to go out of town while we set a bomb off.. I would love that for sure and maybe see the Harry Potter movie!? I hope so, I am so desprate to see it now that I've read the book.. I am also reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and so far its a very good book.. I'm getting into the heart of the book now to.. Man at least me it keeps me on the edge of my bed.. OK now where was I? Oh yes, telling about my day.. Anyway I left around 3ish pm and after I got gas for my car and then went to a store here called Rite Aid and picked up soda and some hair conditioner for myself I had a good time:) Then came home and started to finish cleaning the house again, such as vacumm and do the rest of the dishes and feed DS and now he's back in bed he woke up from being to wet and a poopy diaper and so he's watching Happy Feet till I turn it off and he'll go to sleep again, his whole sleep schedule is off big time.. I feel bad for him cuz he's so cranky and just gets so flustered easily..

Well thats been my week.. Just need to relax and enjoy the rest of it if I can.. Hope y'all are having a better week..

Love & Light
Laura

Board out of my Mind!

Well, what a day.. I've done nothing but sit around and wait for my g/f to come by or to text me to say we're gonna have lunch. Does that happen NO! I text her 2x and waited all day to hear from her and stiill no text message and its 9pm.. To late to do much now.. I am not sure if she was going to go back home or up for the day here or what.. So now I'm clueless.. I am sick and tired of her saying she promised me that she'd see me and dont.. This is the 3rd or 4th time she's done this since she moved.. I dont like to hang around not knowing whats going on in life.. I am tired and I got dishes to do and I want to finsih my book and order more, and then I got 3 more books in the mail that look good but I want more Harry Potter books.. So I might order more as I go along and want some for Christmas.. Which is in a few months from now, eek!

I dont know I need more friends,but I'm scared to death to open up to any more real life freinds and not be judged for what I do.. I am sick of not having friends and sick of being bored out of my mind.. I know in a few years that'll change and things will get better, but thats still not right now, I need it now,not then.. I know God knows I need people who arent going to leave me out of the loop and use me when they feel like it.. I need some one who's a true Christian and will abide what they say and do what they say.. Its just frustrating about it.. O well I guess thats my life right now.. DH and I are going around in circles in life and its getting real annoying and he's been a pain in my ass for 6yrs and I doubt he'll change unless God hits him in the head w/a 2x4 board.. I feel I am barking up a tree and blue in the face.. Its getting old thats for sure.. Anyway just needed to vent.. Now I can go read.. :)

Love & Light
Laura

Getting Along Somewhat...

Well its been a few days since I've written.. Things are making due as you can see from my tital of the blog.. Lately all I've done is clean.. I took out garbage, and cleaned kitchen and floors, vacummed and still have some ways to go.. I've also been reading my book Harry Potter and enjoying it emensely! I cant get enough and definatly cant wait for the movie to come out so I can see it after reading the book.. I have to say; reading the book has definatly made more sense than the movies do.. So I am going to order the other books, I need to sit and read the other book I have on Harry Potter and thats the Goblet of Fire, my all time so far favorite movie of the series.. I hope to enjoy this movie as well when it comes out, I so wanted to see it in the theater but we've had no money or time to go:( Which is sad cuz I havent been to the movies since I think my anniversary.. Things are tough, I'll have to really write and elaborate on that, but just keep us in prayer.. Dh had to work this past week 6 days and 6days this week again.. I am not happy..

I went to Target today and got some things we needed and I might have to run to the dollar tree or some place and pick up some juice for son.. Who btw hasnt slept very well the past 2 nights.. He crashed 2x for naps today and I was relieved that he did.. So he's in bed for the night, hope he'll sleep better and feel better tomorrow..He's having a rough time and he'll be turning 2 soon in October..I know some ask are we going to have more kids,yes we're TTCing now as it is.. Just taking our time at it.. Which is fine by me really I do miss being pregnant but I loath the fact that I may have to do another C-section and revoery wont be so happy plus I dont know what the weather will be like when the due time is by the 2nd child so that all comes into play also.. J might be 3yrs or close by the time his sibling is born.. So I dont mind though.. I am ok with them being 3 to 3.5yrs apart that'll make it easier in the end and in High school in 13 yrs..

Well, just thought I'd drop a line and say Hi ! and hope y'all are well.. God bless and God speed.

Love & Light
Laura

Long Day

Well today was long but not bad.. Yesterday was ok to, we went to Oakhurst to visit MIL (Mom in law) and went to the park. We were there for awhile and it was very warm outside, I dont do well in warm/hot weather and it was extreemly hard for me.. I used to love being outside but not that time.. Although son loved it,he had a blast, swang on the swings, went down slides things like that, played socer walked around he had a blast.. Then we were going to have to stop at Grandmas and take a bath he was dirty, so we bathed him, I put him in sweats and a Tshirt for the way home.. We left round sun-set to make it home.. Before we came home though, we looked at some Apts and had a nice time thinking of what one we'd move into and see if they are nice enough to move into.. I know moving to Oakhurst has its reservations for me,but it would be closer to Grandma and I can find a job even PT job to help with expeses and not have to drive an hour home would be nice..

Today was nice I went to rent some movies, I hate a quick bite of lunch, got a coffee drink, went and got popcorn for DH (Hub) and then that was it, I watched the Pre-game on SF (49ers) against Dever (Broncos) of course Denver won,but SF didnt do bad, they kept up but were fumbly at the 2nd half.. I think if they got their shit together,they might have won.. So we'll see about the seaon soon to start.. I for one cant wait! I didnt feel good today, my back was killing me and it was hard and my chest got very tight and just plain hard.. I took some tylenol and laid down for a few mins to rest, and I feel better, so we'll see.. DH is in our room watching a movie and DS I hope is sleeping, he needs more rest after Sunday all day in the sun.. So hope the rest of my week goes well, I am tired and want to sleep some.. So we'll see how things play out.. Other than that not much going on.Just chilling supposed to be hot this weekend.. My Cd's finally came in the mail, so I am now waiting on a book to get here and then I am done ordering things for awhile.. We'll see.. What else? I think thats it for now.. If more I'll add to this or post a new entry.. Much love

Love & Light
Laura

Dreams Unawares

Dreams Unawares..
Dont aske me why I love to type in blue.. One of my many favorite colors.. Well July went fast but I forgot to post a dream of my dad I had.. Its been 9yrs since he's been gone as well as my mom.. I miss them for many reasons and espically now in this time of my life I miss them, and for them to see my son who is growing and exploring life alot more each passing day.. Well the dream.. It started out ok, and then I am in a hospital now mind you my dad was never in a hospital setting, my mom was in and out many times, dad never unless it was for surgery.. I totally forgot the anniversary date of his death which is July 19th.. He went on a Sunday morning and I went to church but couldnt focus on the service much less than any other time of my life.. Anyway, I dreampt that I was driving along the road, we called the road Hwy 41 wich is it,but in my dream the road is before it turned into a fwy.. Then I am going ok, so we're driving at night, and then suddenly I am at mom/dad's house looking and trying to figure out what to do next, and then suddenly back on the road going back to the hospital but we're driving at night not in the day time.. Its very confusing since dad died in the AM not PM and then suddenly we're back at the house again strickten with emotions that are confusing and not sure what was going on.. I think all of us were confused and trying to go about what to do next.. The dream didnt leave me depressed, but it definatly felt like some thing was real.. I had gone a whole month for the 1st time and not remember my dad's anniverary death.. I guess I felt bad about not remembering? I dont know. All I do know is that life is amazing if you know deep down your loved ones are with you, but they remind you in some sort of fashion... There's a 2nd dream I had recently, I dreampt of my nephew Matthew, now mind you he's a grown handsome young man, and has a man in his life.. Now you might think its is weird but it left me confused and unsure of it.. I dreampt that I was where he was living or some thing, he was sleeping naked now I havent seen him naked ok, and I said Matt cover up, and he did.. Later, I guessed I asked him to spend some time with me and he said no.. I ran out in my dream out of his house or place of residence, crying uncontrollably and I felt that so real in the dream also.. Now mind you I dream in color and alot of times its real.. I am so confused on the dreams lately.. I am not sure if my innerself is trying to tell me some thing or want to feel some thing I dont know.. Last night, or this moring, we watched a dvd video of my parents Christmas of "91" I was 15 back then and it was my sister, her 2 children Matt and Aric, me and mom/dad.. My brother was there also.. I think I dreampt of my brother but it wasnt bad or sexual dreams of him doing things to me, it was different, I cant recall much of the dream now,but at least I didnt feel violated and used in the dream as I would have normally had.. Like I said, I dont understand things like this and its very time consuming to think about them, espically since I am 32yrs old married and has 1 child so far.. Life isnt perfect by any means,but its real and yes I will admit I havent gotten over the stuff from my childhood espically since upon hearing some new informotion in the recent few months past.. That part makes sense, but the dreams and my emotions in the dreams is whats bothers me.. maybe some light will come of it? I hope so or fine some peace.. Well thats all here.. Things this week has been stressful and I have been knocked out by headaches, stomache problems, the works.. I want this week over with and me to feel better, I am sick and tired of dealing with life problems .. I dont expect life to be perfect but I do want things to be calming and whole again if that makes any sense.. Well, I am off to see what I can do with myself..

Well, today is interesting.. I am so freaked out over money that I am going crazy.. Our rent check isnt in and our consolidation isnt in and paid for.. So those bills are going to be bounced here soon and I cant afford to I need a job so bad and I want another child but financially we cant afford another right now.. I am so upset.. We need new living arrangements and since our rent is going to hell over.. I want internet and we dont need cable but just the basic channels.. I dont get why this is happening.. Thank God my husband called me I was so upset and I dont normally worry about money but when it comes to Rent and the big bills its just hard. Even though he gets paid this Saturday I have no idea when the rent check will go through.. Today is the 7th and we paid rent on the 3rd.. So any day it'll go through and I hate to see checks and insufficent funds in our acct.. I know I may have to work full time to get us on track and financially stable but I dont know what else to do.. I have a child and he needs careing, and I may have to put him in some type of pre-school setting or some thing I dont know.. I had hoped we wouldnt have to do this but we might have to.. Life right now sucks and I cant take the fact that money is going out faster than we're bringing it in.. Hub works already so much 5days a week and milks the clock when he can.. I just need some thing and I want a house but no way we can if money is tight, I cant stand to borrow money from family and we need to find some thing to help us out a cheeper place to live some thing, I dont know. I am racking my brain and I cant find a solution to this problem.. I am the type who dont worry to much about money but this takes the cake.. I am so confused and worried that I am going out of my mind.. I wanted to be a SAHM but now I cant.. I have to be a WOHM now. what a life.. Ya right! Sheesh!

Laura

Beautiful Fall Weather !

Hola All,
Well today was going fine till this late afternoon.. DH was going nuts I guess cuz he was tired or is tired,one of the 2.. I am tired also .. My MIL came by and we visted some. She gave us $100 to spend and have a good time.. Then $50 gc (gift card) for shopping for food or what we wanted at Vons or any place we could get food.. We spent some money and went out to eat at I-HOP and then went to the mall, walked around,then got me a coffee drink YUM! Then later Jamba Juice Strawberry Wild Drink, YUM! Then we drove around some,then went shopping and came home..This mornig I got up showered, dressed, and vacummed and finished what dishes I could do .. Text Msg (Message) my gf all day long and hope to chat with her again tomorrow.. We browsed Target and I got MASH Season 11 the final one for $19 and some coffee for DH and thats it.. I got us a snack and then we enjoyed the day, it was only mid 80's today.. Praise be to GOD! Espically out of the 100 degrees we had it was NICE out toay. YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! So that was nice.. I battled a headache a little bit, but other wise I was fine, and then went to clean out my car of garbage, ugh and brought in DS cups for him to have he had like 4 or 5 in the car.. So all I need to do now is vacumme the car out, wash it and wipe it down on the dash board and such.. O goodie! We rented some movies, one called 300 and it was pretty good,and then we're watching the 2nd movie calle Goal.. About socer.. Son is in bed finally, he fought sleep, he was up b4 Daddy was for once.. That must have been around 8:00 or 8:30 this morning.. Some times he's up at the crack of dawn to.. I got up around 9:20 am and been going since took a small nap to refresh b4 dinner, we had spaghetti and garlic bread YUM! We were going to have pizza but that was a much better choice to have spaghetti.. Well, thats our day.. DH was a pain in my ass, again over money and issues again.. He was in a major mood swing last night and I had my grumpy day yesterday so today was like I said fine till late this afternoon.. O well! Such as life again.. I hope the rest of my week goes better? Well, I hope y'all are better and having fun in this hope to be soon fall! Yeah!

Love & Light
Laura

Grumpy Day..

Hola All,

Well today was a major grumpy day.. Nothing made me happy, its like I cant stand stuff.. Anyway, spent most of the afternoon bored out of my mind, and the rest of the time, we left for Grandmas place and I didnt want to go. Then, my mom in law is stoppin by tomorrow in the AM, great! NOT! So cleaning things up here again for the week. So doing laundry right now. Then the dishes are done, so now waiting on laundry to dry so I can bring it in and fold it .. Life suxs some times but oh well! Such as life.. Eh. Hope everyone's Sunday was better.. God bless..

Love & Light
Laura

Blogging

Well today was nice, despite the heat. It was over 100 outside and man it was HOT! I hate the 100 degree weather and its August 1st.. Eek! Man summer is nearly coming to a close and I am so glad that it is, cuz I love fall and winter the best because I love to wear jeans and sweats and be comfy when I am home and out.. I had to do a store run and pick up DH's prescription for his blood preasure, he "forgot" to tell me last night he was out of meds, and I am like Hun! So I called it in and picked it up a while ago, and got some stuff for my son and things.. So now just cooling off since my lady thing is here and I am cramping big time.. I forgot to return the movies, so I'll do that tonight when DH is home so I can get more midol for my lady thing.. Other than that not much happening on the home front, just trying to cool off, hoped the mail came today I am waitin on some cd's that I"ve wanted nearly a month now and so far no call on my eye glasses either.. I need to call tomorrow and see if they came in so I can pick them up.. Good Lord, I hate having to wait! Other than that just chilling.. Thought I'd post some thing.. hehe.. God bless..

Love & Light
CrownedwithGlory